Saturday 25 January 2014

The Theatre, Darling

Many great actors and actresses tread the boards at London's West End each night, and many millions of people go see them do just that every year. So much so, that it has become somewhat of a tourist necessity to go see a show; thus explaining why so many people are always in attendance. Whenever you go to see a show, you first have to battle through a mass of people who loiter on the pavement outside, in the doorways, in the entrance hall, on the stairs, around the gift and confectionary shops, at the bar, down the corridors and lurking around corners. None of them moving. They're like tall cones wearing coats which one has to successfully manoeuvre around.

So, you've paid, let's say, £100 for a night out for two at the theatre. Then you buy the obligatory program, plus a souvenir. Then drinks, and maybe something to munch in the interval. It's an expensive night out, but it comes with perks. Firstly, there is a better class of people there. These are the sorts of people that might actually apologise for bumping into you; which is a rare treat in this city. Secondly, because it is so expensive, people tend to make sure they arrive on time and don't talk through it, what with everyone trying to get their monies worth. And thirdly, it makes a nice change from the usual drudgery of watching television every night.

Friday 10 January 2014

The Big Screen

The cinema is the perfect place for a misanthrope to go. It is the only time one can sit in a darkened room for a few hours, sitting in silence and watching a screen, whilst still being considered to be socialising. It allows them to go out in public, with friends, family, or on a date, and spend time in their presence, without having to engage with them on any level, apart from maybe sharing a tub of popcorn.

Despite this though, there are many reasons why one should be weary of entering such a building. These are issues which are synonymous with the cinema experience, where ever you are in the country. Firstly, the cost of refreshments is laughable; some people have to take out pay-day loans to afford a bottle of water, popcorn, and a bag of sweets. Then that's on top of buying tickets to watch half hour of adverts, before a film which is on a screen that is too large and the volume turned up too high, and sat on a seat that is marginally more comfortable than resting your buttocks on an overflowing rubbish bin.