Are You A Misanthrope?

Before reading any further, we should probably work out if you need to be reading this or not. There's nothing worse than investing time from your boring, mundane life, into something which turns out to be a disappointment. Everyone hates buying a £50 DVD box set of a popular American drama which everyone raved about, and then falling asleep during the first episode.

So, are you a misanthrope? Well, are you the sort of person who walks into someone's house and greets their pets before talking to the humans in the room? Cats don't require you to make pointless small talk with them; and it's less awkward when you tickle them behind the ear and they sit on your lap. It's against social etiquette to start behaving like that towards your host.

Perhaps you think that Eeyore's outlook on life is a pretty accurate one, and one that more people should take on board, rather than all this 'glass half full' nonsense. Or maybe you related to Fluffy the Hamster from the Creature Comfort animations, and his depressed, cynical and pessimistic views about life.

You might even be the sort of person who would rather be late, and take your chances on the next train or bus being less crowded. It's not that you are trying avoid getting cold or flu germs(however, that is a positive of not wanting to be near people), it's that you don't like it when others sit next to you, or breath near you. Plus you don't trust people in close proximity to you to not fart and force you to get a nose full of their faecal particles.

Maybe you're the sort of person that when faced with needing work done in your home, that when they turn up, you will give your apologies for needing to pop out, before going outside for a walk until you feel the house is workman-free. Stalking your own home from under a tree in the rain, will always be preferable to having awkward exchanges, and worrying about whether or not you're acting like a slave-driver by standing, chatting and watching them.

If you answered yes to one or more of those, then carry on reading. If you like your glass to be half full of love and positivity, then go and buy yourself The Wire box set; I promise you it's not boring at all.