Learn Your Left from Your Right

Londoners are a very patient bunch, who take life in their stride. They are free spirits, and never rush to be anywhere. The Londoner will just mill about, with no particular purpose. They wake up in the dark, and venture out in the drizzling rain, just for the fun of it.

Well, that's what some people must think. These people must mistake Londoner's for being a bunch of compassionate individuals. Why else would they stand on the left side of escalators? The only way they could make the rule any simpler, is if Cbeebies did a cheerily patronising song with the lyrics: 'By standing on the right, You're always in the right!'

The trouble is, that people stand on the left through absolute pig-headedness. They have spotted the limp and depressing conga line forming up the right side of an escalator, and opted to have a little silent protest on the left. Maybe they're raging against the machine. Maybe they're just getting their jollies by making men in suits stand behind them, tut tut tutting. Or maybe they are just completely ignorant.

Either way, this is a mistake one will only make a few times before they surrender, and start to stand on the right. Everyone one knows you stand on the right, and climb on the left. Some people will impolitely ask to be excused past. Others will just push past, whilst trying to whack them with their brief case. Either way, inevitably, if you stand in the way, you're going to get bruised ankles.